home,

home,

where i wanted to go.

(nothing else compares)

apollo and daphne

apollo and daphne, by gianlorenzo bernini.

apollo insults eros for playing with bows and arrows, and as a result, gets struck by one of gold and one of lead. the arrow of lead was shot into the nymph daphne, inciting hatred. the golden arrow was shot into the heart of apollo, inciting love. apollo is struck with love for daphne, who in turn is repulsed by the god, as daphne prefers exploring the woodlands to the love of any man.

apollo follows her, failingly trying to woo her, but daphne the nymph unceasingly escapes him. eros, however, intervenes at this point because he sees how equally they are matched at chasing and escaping. so, he helps apollo gain on the nymph. daphne, seeing that apollo is catching up with her, calls upon her father, peneus, to open the earth, or change her form.

suddenly, her hair becomes leaves, her skin turns to bark, her arms to branches, her feet firmly rooted into the earth. regardless, apollo still sees this tree as his love, and continually tends to her, as he has eternal youth, and promises that she should always stay green. hence, the leaves of the bay laurel tree --the provider of leaves for the laurel wreath, a symbol of grecian antiquity-- have never known to decay.

i'm ready for summer.

tumblr

so i've been following various tumblrs for a while now for nice pictures and whatnot, so i made my own.

http://mmeadowlark.tumblr.com

i could literally spend hours reading theories on Lost.

I'm going through phases of really liking where I am, and really despising everything around me. I get frustrated a lot because I feel stuck. I feel like everyone is so much more accomplished and everyone is doing so much cooler things than I am. Friends, dear and not so, are spread across the globe. The globe. Coming to college has really expanded my perspective. Obviously. People coming from Hong Kong, Dubai, the East Coast.

I sometimes feel like I'm wasting my parents money, because I don't feel like I'm doing anything. I'm going to class but...


oh, I have to go. One of my roommates is locked out. Great.

The first step - especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money - the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.

— Chuck Palahniuk

sun breaks free, as a giant torn from the clouds.

What a life I lead in the summer
What a life I lead in the spring
What a life I lead in the winded breeze
What a life I lead in the spring

What a life I lead when the sun breaks free
As a giant torn from the clouds
What a life indeed when that ancient seed
Is a berry watered and plowed

What a life
What a life
What a life
What a life

What a life I lead in the summer
What a life I lead in the spring
What a life I lead in the winded breeze
What a life I lead in the spring



today was wonderful. 73 degrees of sun kisses and freckles and sitting
underneath blossoming trees as the pink heart-shaped petals
flutter around. 

yet i am internally battling with so many negative feelings. being fed
up with people, needing a job, needing to figure out housing next year,
missing my mother, missing my sister, missing you, missing sauvies,
missing familiarity, missing. 

trying to understand.
trying to embrace. 
trying to be focused.
trying. 

hardly.